Graduation 2013

Graduation Day.  It's here the day that I dread the most in my career as a teacher.  Each year is the same.  An evening filled with goodbyes and I'll miss you's.  That evening when the students that I have cradled under my wings for the past four years take flight into the great future that they each have.  

I walked into my classroom this morning and the first thing that I found on my desk was a note addressed to me...Mama Copeland.  And as I read the letter, my heart jumped out of my chest and flowed out my eyes as I remembered this student entering my classroom three years prior as such a young lady.  She has blossomed so much over the past 3 years.  I am blessed to have shared in a short piece of her life.  She is an amazing young woman. So much stronger than some that I am sending out into the world tonight.  Some still need cradled just a little bit longer, some a lot longer.  Some have earned their wings and some merely borrowed them.  Some were lucky enough to receive nurture and loving here and at home and some were only blessed with what the world would share.  So here's to you...Class of 2013...May the path that you walk always be downhill, may your journey be easy, your load be light, and may you each remember to come see your Mama Copeland from time to time as she will miss each of you.

Renew in Me!

The days it seems continue to blow away like the seeds from the dandelions and I continue to fight my mountain and various other ghosts of my past.  I continue to struggle with weight loss and the ever growing want/need to have another child.  Every time I start something new to help with the weight loss it seems that I am derailed on what Hunter would call my Choo-Choo ride to a smaller me.  


I feel like I have tried everything under the sun in order to lose the weight that I so desperately need/want to lose.  I just want to be healthy, happy, and the girl of Bill's dreams.  I want to be as vivacious outside as I feel on the inside.  This outer body is not me.  It's not the person I want to be nor the person I believe myself to be.  I am a DIVA!  You got that right.  From the time I walked in late to a baby shower as a young child and announced "Ta-Da, we're here!"  to the present day where I would love to feel like I am the object of anyone's affection (okay, anyone other than the dog looking for food).  


I know that a lot of the reasons for my weight gain and holding have to deal with ghosts of my past.  I hide inside this body, this person that I don't recognize in order to protect myself from pain.  But with the hiding comes horrible pain and extreme sadness.  I feel like I am missing out on so many things in life.  I'm so sore and tired at night that I can't play with Hunter the way that I always dreamed I would.  I pictured having a child to run with through the fields, but instead there are no fields and he just runs through the house while I try to catch up.  I dream at night of the person that I believe myself to be not of this hideous body that I am trapped in.

Top Ten Tuesday

Well, today I am designating top ten Tuesday and as I'm sitting here in class watching my student teacher teach a lesson I thought of the top ten excuses I hear from my students on a daily basis!

1. This makes no sense to me! Referring to yesterday's lesson after that person had been absent the day before.
2. My cat ate my homework! I got this one today.
3. Are all kids really this horrible? The student who was referring to her baby that was assigned to her in Child Development.
4. I still don't get it! Even though I haven't been paying attention because I was still trying to get last nights homework done.
5. What's the difference between an excuse and a reason? I could find plenty of reasons instead of excuses.
6. Why do I have to graph by (whatever way I said) why can't I choose?
7. My calculator/book bag/book/pencil/brain is in my car!
8. I couldn't do my homework last night because my boyfriend/girlfriend was having a hard night!
9. I didn't know I had to do that! It's been on the board/on paper/on the calendar for the past month!
10. Why don't you do (something) for me that I could have done for myself!

Don't get me wrong I love my students! Always have always will but I get so tired of their excuses! I put the following statement above my board: "Excuses are the nails used to build the house of FAILURE!"

Menu Plan Monday

Monday - Easy Stuffed Manicotti, Sweet Peas, Quick Chop Salad with Italian Dressing, Asiago Cheese Bread
Tuesday - Dinner out thanks to Quail and Upland Wildlife Federation meeting
Wednesday - Pork Chops Strips (Thanks Carrie for the recipe), Mashed Potatoes, Sweet Corn
Thursday - BBQ Meatloaf, Au Gratin Potatoes, Green Beans
Friday - Homemade Pizza
Saturday - Bill gets leftovers and I will eat out thanks to Prom
Sunday - Breakfast for dinner

Terrific Tuesday

Welcome to Tuesday! Positive attitude still in check! I am going to try to keep this thing updated the best I can. Not a lot of news today, I stayed up really late again working on trying to find information in my need to lose weight. I am at school this morning trying to wake up.

Went by my grandma's last night to take pictures of Hunter and ended up visiting for a little bit. Then went home only to find one of the calves out in the yard. So got him in then Bill pulled in so I put Bill on Daddy duty and worked on mowing the backyard.

Goal for today: Keep track of every morsel of food or drink that enters my lips!

Monday is a New Day

Well this morning I woke up chipper as could be only to have my happiness stomped by a Monday! So far today Bill has lost his cell phone, the counselors forgot to put a test in my EOC stack so I had to wait on those, and who knows what else but I am not going to let these piddly things get me down. Luckily I do not have to build fence tonight like I was going to have to do. It's kinda tough right now since I still can't raise my shoulder above shoulder height but hopefully will find something out about that on Friday.

A big thank you goes out to my Daddy who has helped Bill build fence the past two days. I appreciate everything that he does to help us out. I have been a daddy's girl my entire life but since mom died I have become one even more so.

So my resolve is to lose weight in the next 6 months so that Bill and I can start trying to have another little man or little girl. I so want another one after the experiences we have had with Hunter. Hopefully I will find the will power to lose all I need to in order to meet this goal.

It's been awhile since I posted last and again as usual many things in my life have changed. Some for the better some for the worst but its LIFE that is what normally happens. Let me fill everyone in on the changes first:

• Hunter continues to grow by leaps and bounds. He is now nine and a half months old and is still the absolute joy of my life. He weighed 23 pounds at his last doctors visit and was 30 1/4 inches long. He is crawling and cruising but hasn't taken off walking yet. I assume it will be anytime but only he knows when for certain. He has struggled with asthma and with bronchitis a couple times this winter but the doctor thinks that he will outgrow both.
• Bill and I are still happily married. I know surprise surprise, but it has been a rough couple of months especially dealing with the fact that we are still new parents and Hunter has not yet slept through the night so we are both still sleep deprived, although it is getting better it has gone to him waking every 30 to 45 minutes to now sleeping at least 3 hours at a time. Also, things with the business have been rough to say the least. It went from fairly steady before December to Bill being off work for 13 weeks because of weather, to now when we are backed up 5 months. It feels so weird to schedule people for July and August.
• Bill will be having knee surgery sometime this summer as well. He has torn the meniscus in his right knee and they are recommending that it be fixed as soon as possible because in the position it is in the continually catches and tears further.
• In October, we moved from where we were living in Louisburg to Lebanon. We are living with my aunt which was a little bit of an adjustment but it has been for the best for all of us.
  
• My grandmothers health has declined quite a bit since January. She suffers from congestive heart failure and COPD. She was also diagnosed after her last hospital stay as a diabetic although she has done really well in controlling it with diet. Because of her decline in health and loss of mobility and confidence, my aunt has moved in with Grandma until she can gain some strength back.
• I am still teaching in Buffalo and will continue there next year. I am still dreaming of taking an administration job somewhere near Lebanon but for the time being I do enjoy my time in Buffalo. I was named department head this year and have had the opportunity to complete some hours and days of administrative experience. I have had two student teachers this year and have enjoyed sharing the knowledge that I have with both of them.
• Bill, Hunter and I have had the opportunity to reestablish a relationship with Bill's family and are enjoying getting to watch them spend time with Hunter and getting to know them better. Bill's dad has struggled with diabetes which was severe enough that they had to quit dairying.
  

So these are the changes now lets talk about what needs to change and what I could really use prayers about:

1. I am still fighting a losing battle with weight loss. I must lose weight in order for Bill and I to be able to have more children.
   
2. Our place in Salem is still on the market and hopefully will catch the attention of someone any day now.
3. I need a place to express my thoughts and feelings. Hopefully I will embrace blogging and this will help with the emotions I seem to struggle more and more with everyday.