Ever since I was twelve I can remember the constant struggle of dieting. I remember thinking how no one could love me if I was fat and sometimes wishing to be fatter so that I didn't have to deal with the emotions of relationships. Then came high school and I wanted to be the belle of the ball but I didn't know how to so when I was so upset I turned to the one friend who had always been there for me...FOOD. Sadly, it turned against me and became my biggest foe.
Today I decided to tackle my biggest mountain. Something that has caused me so much pain and helped me so little. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I am headed towards leaner living no matter the cost. I must fight this battle. I want to be able to enjoy the life that I have to live with my baby boy and my wonderful husband. My husband who loves me for the person I am on the inside and fell in love with that person first and was not ashamed of his 350 pound bride. Who reminds me of his love daily not only in words but in actions. My son who I dream of running all over with, playing and laughing which I can't do at nearly 350 pounds.
I want my son to remember me as someone who always loved and played with him not someone who was sick and hurting because of their weight.
