My Purpose

As the song goes some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck, some nights I call it a draw, and nights like tonight I stay up and realize just how lucky I am.  Lucky to work at a job that I love, lucky to be in the place and time where I am, and lucky to have the love and respect of so many people.

My biggest goal when I was struggling all those nights in college, my biggest reason for returning to college after my mom was killed, the thing that kept me sane all those night I thought I would lose it when I thought about having lost someone so special to me I have finally attained.  I have realized what my mom always said filled her heart with happiness and I think I must have learned well from her.  Tonight I attained the one goal I set for myself.  Actually I may have attained it before tonight but this is the night where I finally realize my true calling has been found.  I have been important in the life of a child.  I have helped a child to reach into themselves and find their own self confidence to work problems in college.

I received a text earlier from one of my former students who is away from home attending college for her first time and working hard.  She mentioned how much she needed to thank me for being able to "hear" me in her ear everytime she works a math problem in her College Algebra class.  She doesn't need to thank me...that's my job right?  Then I think about all the teachers who are merely there to fill a void.  They never connect with their students.  They never care whether that student who is failing all but one class is just crying out to someone to notice and care enough to help them with a problem.  Some nights I wonder how to share with all the teachers I know just exactly how it feels to have attained a goal.  I help my students set goals all the time.  You know the goal to pass the next test, raise their grade by the next grade check, or just to be able to show up to school the next day.  But my goal, the one that has been just out of reach for almost 14 years has finally been attained.

My students don't realize just how important they are.  Some may, but most don't.  They don't realize that they are each one of my children.  I have given each of them a piece of my heart and many of them have found that place a comfort zone.  They come back to visit and just have a little Mama Copeland time.  They come back to tell me how their lives have moved on past high school and how they are raising their own families.  They reach out to me through email, phone, and text messages.  And I realize each time I talk to them how much I just want to keep them under my wings at least for a little longer.  It's like the poem goes about our Lord and the walk along the beach.  It was when there was only one set of foot prints that he carries us.  For my students, I would carry each and everyone of you as far as necessary to get you past your struggles.  To help you set and attain goals.  My love goes out to all my former, current, and future students.  You are each a special part of me.